A twilight parody: part I

[Wizzy]

A TWILIGHT PARODY
part I

Okay, so I read Rice's parody and I thought it was pretty good.
So yeah, I thought I'd write one of my own. Of course it's not as good as your's but I gave it a try. x

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"Mom! You know how much I love Arizona! Why would you agree to send me to Forks? Urgh, can't you take me with you and Phillip? Or whatever his dang name is?" I yelled when Charles had called to say he was looking forward to seeing me again after eight years. Had it really been that long? Wow, and to think it seemed like yesterday I was on his shoulder's pointing at the baboons at the zoo. Worst day of my life, the stupid alpha male through a banana at Charles' head and he dropped me into the enclosure where they threw nasty stuff at me, gosh I wouldn't talk to him for a month after that. "Belle he misses you! He hasn't seen you since you were nine years old, don't you want to see him?" Mom called from the kitchen as I came down the stairs in a huff. "Of course not, you've sent pictures of me right? He won't need to see me in person will he?" I hissed, throwing myself on the couch in the living room. "It's not like you're going to be gone all year is it Mom?" I asked, craning my neck round the door to look at her. "Actually, we're travelling around the world, we'll be gone for three years tops, but we'll come and visit you.-" I interrupted her before she could finish. I almost swore, but I couldn't do that in front of my Mom. "three freaking years?" I hissed. "Don't you dare use that tone with me young lady, you're going to forks whether you like it or not, and you're not coming with me and my Phillykins" She shouted, I pulled a face a looked away from her. "And when will you visit? Every other month?" I asked her, staring down at cell phone I had in my hand. "Only on emergencies, or if you're in the hospital.." She answered, going back to the kitchen to finish off the dinner. "Wow, geeze Mom, thanks.. That's a real comfort hearing that.. From my own Darn mother!" I yelled, making my way back to my room, I'd stay up there, just so she couldn't send me to forks, I couldn't face seeing dad again, not after what he did to Mom. Actually, I didn't even know what he did to her, but she divorced him, so he must have done something.

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The next day I was all packed, and standing outside ready to catch the bus to the train station, Mom wasn't coming with me, she'd planned to leave on her 'around the world trip of a lifetime with Phillykins' the same day I was leaving so she leaned in to kiss me on the cheek, but I didn't let her. I waved and walked over to the bus as it pulled up. That was it, the last time I'd see her for three years. What kind of mother would do that? Urgh, I can just picture what she'd be doing in every country she landed in, and it wasn't very pretty, I struggled to keep my breakfast down. As soon as I arrived at the train station, I dropped my luggage and snorted. A few people looked at me as if to think I was a weirdo, it kind of reminded me of a movie I'd seen before, but also of that weird kids show 'Pepper Pig' which sort of creeped me out. I smiled at the strangers, and started twitching on purpose, they soon stopped staring, something in a magazine I'd read told me if people start staring at you, act as if there's something wrong with you and the'll instantly stop staring and blush. It worked, but I thought it was just one of those old wives tells, those old wives should seriously stop telling tales though.
I picked up my bags and carried them onto the train, sitting right at the back away from people, and I pulled out my Harry Potter book and started reading. Harry really was a dunce, he was totally in love with Hermione, but completely denies it by saying she's like a sister to him and that he's in love with Ginny, and letting Ronald take Hermione from him, what an idiot. And don't get me started on Voldermort, he's just a phony who thinks he's so powerful, I bet his wife divorced him too. I looked outside the window and noticed that it had started raining, we were definitely in forks, so I waited for the train to slow down as I trampled out of it, getting soaked from head to toe. Sure enough, there was Charles waiting for me by his fire truck, yeah, my dad was a fireman how sad right? Urgh, don't even get me started. I walked over to him and smiled a fake smile. "Hi Charles" He laughed but hurt was written all over his face. "Sup, Jellybelly.. ?" He replied in that kind of crap gangsta tone, which made him sound so fake. "Charles! You know I hate it when people call me Jellybelly, just because I was a chubby kid! Doesn't mean you can call me that!" I moaned walking over to the truck and pulling a face. "Well, you know I proffer it in when you call Dad, because I am your dad Belles, just remember that.. " He answered, in a pathetic voice to make me feel sympathy for him, nah uh, no way, this old geezer's gonna make me feel sorry for him. I snorted again and jumped inside. Her climbed in and slammed the door shut, sitting in the drivers seat. "So Belles, how long as it been?" He asked, turning to look at me. "Eight years" I muttered, looking at my feet rather than giving him eye contact. "You've grown so much, you're looking great Belles" He smiled, patting me on the shoulder. "Thanks" I muttered again, giving him a quick half smile before looking back at my boots. I hated the way I looked, long dark brown hair with the odd blonde streak, sort of like a palomino pony, pale skin and a very boring looking face, I was so plain, I always have been, and I always will. But he thought I looked good? He needed his eyes tested. When I didn't say anything else, he nodded with a smirk and turned back to his steering wheel and began to drive to his house. After about ten minutes, I finally spoke. "So what school am I going to .. Dad?" I asked, as he turned around a bend. "KnivesN'Forks high" He laughed, smiling to himself. "Charles, seriously" I grimaced, I hate his sense of humor, it's so .. childish. "Forks high, why?" He frowned, looking back at the road. "Oh, nothing I was just wondering.." I replied, looking out of the window to see if I could see anything interesting, turns out forks was as boring as I remembered it, grey sky, tree's and more tree's everywhere I looked, miserable looking neighbourhood, I don't know how anyone could live here.
I'd probably find really miserable emo people at Forks high, or strange kids that stare at you like you're some freak because they're so insecure about themselves.

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I jumped out of the truck as soon as we had arrived and went straight inside away from the rain. He stood there for a while, taking everything in, and I just looked at him as if to hurry him for no reason. "Soo.." I said, to get him to stop staring at me. "Soo, how have you been since I saw you last, bud?" He asked, bud? well that was new. I sort of smiled and nodded as if to say I'd been okay, he sighed and went straight to the kitchen. "You hungry?" He called. "Iv'e.. urh never been much of a cook, but I can try and .. experiment" He said, instantly my eyes widened. "Urhh, No thankyou, I ate before I came.." I lied, going towards the stairs. "But that was seven hours ago, honey.. Surely you must be hungry?" He called again. "No, I'm fine.. I'm still full" I lied again, making the floorboards creak as I got closer to the stairs. He had heard and came in. "Where do you think you're going?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. "Urh, to my room?" I said, acting as if it was obvious. "Oh yeah.. Right, but young lady, I don't want you using that tone of voice with me, okay? I'm not your mother, I won't let you get away with it.." He said, giving me a nod. My mother? Well that was pretty obvious but she never let's me get away with it, so he obviously didn't know her at all. "Okay, sorry Dad.. Whatever" I responded, in yet another rude tone. He shook his head and went towards the kitchen. "Dad? Urm.. " He turned to look at me and raise his eyebrows. "Do you really think I'd show you your room after you've spoken to me like that?" He asked, he had a point but I wanted to go up there so he'd have to show me it, I don't feel comfortable going through people's houses, even if I used to live here myself as a kid. "No..But.." I started. "No but's, but I suppose I have to show you anyway, I don't want you walking into the wrong room and finding my dora the explorer collection.." He then blushed and looked away. "I mean, I'll show you to your room" I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah, whatever you say Charles.." I mumbled, walking up the stairs behind him. He pointed to a pink door, great.. I bet that he'd thought I was only eleven, that's how boring his life was? He'd thought it'd only been a year since the divorce?, wow, just wow. "How old are you now? fifteen?" He asked, putting his hand on the door knob. "Urm, I'm seventeen Dad.." I furrowed my brows, how on earth could he forget anyway. "Oh, heck.. well I hope it's not too.. Girly for you, Bud" He almost laughed as he opened the door. I looked inside, surprisingly, it was perfect, it suited me well, all except the door, which happened to be the worst possible color it could ever be. But everything was right, just right. I smiled and shook my head at him. "No, I love it.. It's fine" He smirked and walked out of the door, soon coming back a giant teddy bear. Which kinda spoiled it, but I hid it on my face. He pressed it's nose and it started singing. "COME ON, SHAKE IT UP, WHATCHA GOTTA LOSE? GO AND MAKE YOUR LUCK WITH THE LIFE YOU CHOOSE, IF YOU WANT IT ALL, LAY IT ON THE LINE, IT'S THE ONLY LIFE YOU GOT, SO YOU GOTTA LIVE IT BIG TIME!" I widened my eyes and dropped my jaw. "Dad, what the heck?" I asked, as soon as it'd finished it's number. "I thought you liked Big time rush? It's what your Mom told me?" He asked, disappointment appearing on his face. "Yeah, Dad when I was eleven!" I sighed. "Urh, Belles.. The show was only made this year.. " He pointed out, oh crap yeah it was wasn't it? Oh crap. "Urm, ohh.. Yeah.. Thanks Dad, I love it!" I lied, taking it from him and placing it on the bed. He shook his head and shut the door. "Later Belles.." Okay, I love Big time rush, but I can't stand teddy bears, so the two put together just ruins the whole coolness.

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The next day I had to go to school, I met these strange people called, Jessie, Mickey, Angel and Benny who followed me around everywhere, they acted as if I was there best friend when I'd only just met them. "Isabel!" Mickey called from across the cafeteria. "Iv'e told you, it's just Belle, not Isabel, and not Arizona either, okay?" He smiled and pointed to his table. "I suppose you want me to sit at your table, huh?" I asked and he nodded. Well where else was there to sit on my first day. As I sat down five other kids, moving as if they were in a slow motion movie, and I could hear music playing in my head, walked past the door and came inside the cafeteria. "Are they for real?" I asked, as they hadn't even reached the first table, they put an insult to all things slow, like tortoises and snails. "What do you mean?" Jessie asked, I looked back over to them. "Nevermind.." Jessie soon looked over at them. "Oh, you're talking about the Colognes?" She smiled. "The what?" I asked, confusion crossing my face. "The colognes.. they're some sort of cult thing, I dunno.. but they're the coolest kids on the block" She replied. wow, they were considered cool? I watched as they sat at a vacant table, one of them looked around the room frantically as if he was waiting to pounce on the next passer by. "See the blonde bimbo?" Benny asked. I nodded. "That's Rosie, she's another snobby, stuck up, rich girl who pays no attention to anyone around her, but she's so beautiful.." He gazed at her for a second before looking back at me. "And the tall muscular one?" I nodded again. "That's Emearson.. He's like a total jock, just look at those guns.. I'm totally jealous" He blushed and looked away. "And they're dating, it's totally wrong since they're like brother and sister" Said Mickey, grimacing. "What they only live together, it's not like they're related or anything" Jessie said, looking over at the other three. "That's Alicia" She pointed to a small girl with pixie like brown hair. I nodded and turned to Jessie again. "She's very friendly, even to random people, but only if she talks to them, which she rarely does" I looked over to the one who's face was still squinted. "The one that looks in pain all the time, is Casper Hale, he's Rosie's sister.. and He's dating Alicia.. I dunno what's wrong with him, but he always looks like that" Benny said. Now focused again. "Who's that?" I pointed to the last one at the table, a tall, devilish handsome boy who happened to be staring right back at me, I blushed and looked away. "That's Edwardo, he's single" Said Jessie. I started to smile. "But he only dates during the summer, so he's.. Unavailable" Well, that was disappointing, I frowned and looked back over at him. He was the dark and mysterious type, sort of the type I was into. And once again, he was looking right back at me, his face showing pure 'bad boy attitude' I blushed again, but I didn't look away. I had a feeling I was gonna like it at forks high.

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So, what do you think? (: Comment below, I'll post part two when I've written it.